


Behind Your Back

by mrbubbles



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 19:12:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11515647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrbubbles/pseuds/mrbubbles
Summary: John Shelby x Reader





	Behind Your Back

Marriage. 

 

Arranged marriage.

 

A stranger.

 

A man twice her age.

 

_Frumpy._

 

_Sweaty._

 

_Rich._

 

Y/N hadn’t slept since her parents sat her down and told her the wonderful news. She had a suitor, a man that would take her away and give her a comfortable life. She’d never have to worry about anything for the rest of her days, just sit and look pretty. It was to be an advantageous marriage between her family and a wealthy man who could be an incredibly powerful ally.

 

* * *

 

“You can’t be serious,” Her mother merely blinked at her in response. “You can’t marry me off! I have John!”

 

“Blinder Trash! A gangster widower with four children. What life could he give you? Hm? A life in the dumps is what you’ll get when he knocks you up,” Y/N’s father spat out, not taking his eyes off of the newspaper in his hands. “We’ll be having dinner on Saturday so you can become acquainted with Mr. Sullivan. Six o’clock. No exceptions. This is what is best for you and your future.”

 

* * *

 

Y/N had been wandering the streets of Birmingham like a ghost among the city streets. For three days, she hadn’t stopped walking, without a destination in sight. Dark, heavy bags were set under her eyes, her skin a slight gray color. Two bottles of morphine felt like ten pound weights in the pockets of her coat, hitting her thigh with every tired step she took. 

 

Y/N’s feet took her to a park. The trees were turning beautiful reds and oranges as the seasons begun to change. She stopped at a tree just off the walking path and stood there, staring at the pond just a short distance away. Swans swam, birds flew, and the calm sound of the water was enough in that moment to relax her. The serenity was enough, if only for a short while. Y/N took one of the bottles out. Here would be a good of place as any, she supposed. It was quite beautiful. This was it. Her hand moved to the cork when a voice called out to her.

 

“Y/N!” She whipped her body around and held the bottle behind her back. “Three days, Y/N! Three fuckin’ days you’ve been missin’!” There was anger on his face, but as soon as he saw the tear tracks down Y/N cheeks, his face dropped. He approached her slowly, not liking the look in her eyes one bit. “What’ve you been doing out here, love? I’ve had everyone I could get my hands on out here searchin’ for ya,” Y/N was looking at the grass between them.

 

“They’re marrying me off,” Y/N’s voice was flat, hollow. John’s brows furrowed.

 

“To who?”

 

“Some fat, rich man that’s older than my father. It’s for the best, he says.” Y/N chuckled, but it sounded like the darkest thing John had ever heard. “I won’t let them.” She shook her head, mostly to herself. “I won’t…let them,” She looked off, back towards the pond. 

 

She hadn’t looked John in the eyes at this point, and that scared him the most. He took in her body language and noticed her hands behind her back.

 

“Y/N, love, show me what’s behind your back,” He outstretched his arm, slowly coming closer. She didn’t budge, didn’t look at him. “Show me…what’s behind…your back,” John took a step closer with each set of words. When he was finally arms length away, he could see her bottom lip trembling tremendously. 

 

“I won’t let him touch me!” Y/N tried to shoulder away from John. She turned her back to his chest and held the bottle to her body with all her might. John could feel the tremors going through her body. “I won’t! Let! Him! Touch me!” She screamed. John grabbed her around the waist with one arm to keep hold of her, while his gloved hand finally grasped the glass bottle, but she held on tight. 

 

“Come on, Y/N, don’t fight me. Just let me have it. That’s it,” He finally ripped it out of her grasp and she let out a gasp of air, letting her knees buckle under her body. John slowly lowered them both to the grass. Y/N was panting from the physical and mental exhaustion of the past three days. Her body hunched forward and she hugged her arms around herself and released the sobs she had been trying to hard to keep in.

 

“Fuck,” John stood up and looked at the clear bottle. 

 

MORPHINE

 

“Y/N,”

 

“I won’t let him take me, John!” Y/N cried hysterically. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself. What if he didn’t find her before this?

 

“FUCK!” John shouted, causing Y/N to sob even harder, her forehead resting on the ground. He paced in a quick circle, wiping his mouth with his free hand, and stalked to the edge of the pond before throwing the bottle in. Y/N looked up, watching John stomp back up to her. He grabbed her by the tops of her arms and hauled her up. 

 

“There is nothing,” He shook her by the shoulders and spoke through clenched teeth, “Nothing, ever worth doing this over. Do you hear me?” For the first time, she looked into John’s blue eyes.  He finally saw clarity, realization. His eyes were brimming with tears. Y/N hadn’t thought once about how this would affect John. How could she? He wasn’t going to marry some stranger for the sake of tying families together. But after registering that, she felt shame. Y/N’s shaky hand went back into her coat pocket and pulled out the other bottle. Seeing that finally broke the dam holding John’s tears back. Y/N handed it to him and looked down, feeling so absolutely pathetic. 

 

John looked down at the bottle in his hands and said nothing for a few solid moments. He took a deep breath, nodded his head, and slipped the bottle into his coat. His large hands cupped Y/N’s face and held it up to look at him. The soft leather warmed her cold skin, bringing life back to something that she had already given up on. His icy eyes held her stare, not budging for a single second.

 

“I may not be able to give you the perfect life, but I love you, and I will love you. You know how dangerous my life is, what I do, but I will provide for you. I will protect you. I love you; the kids love you; my brothers love you; Polly and Michael and Ada, they love you. I would move Heaven and Earth for you, Y/N, and if that’s what it takes to make you stay here with me, then I’ll fuckin’ do it, but don’t you think for a second that this will make everything okay! Don’t you dare! This isn’t the way out. Do you understand me?” Y/N was crying, still trying to process everything he was saying. “I would marry you tomorrow if it meant you wouldn’t fuckin’ do this. No man will ever touch you again, that I can promise you, Y/N. You’re going to be a Shelby girl and that means if your fuckin’ family has a problem, they fuckin’ deal with me, you understand?” Y/N nodded her head. She grabbed John by his waistcoat and pulled herself to him. John held her in his strong arms, not giving her a second to doubt anything he was telling her. 


End file.
